Pets come into our lives and make us fall in love, and then all too soon, they leave. 

I know at least for me, once I get a puppy, I can’t help but calculate how long she will live, and how old I will be when she dies, and if I have time in my life for another dog. And when she dies too young, I feel ripped off; the money, the training, and the sleepless nights I invested and not gotten the proper return. But at the same time, I understand that this is life, and sometimes those we love, are gone too soon, especially our pets.

But then I come back to the reason I got a dog in the first place-for the wiggling excitement when I walk in the door, the adoring gazes, the constant companionship, and a way to teach my kids to care for something living, lower in the pecking order than themselves, and so they can learn about loss. Because in the natural order of things, their dog will die before their family and friends.

As I get ready to send my third family dog off across the Rainbow Bridge, I am deeply saddened. Sunny is not quite eight years old and dying of a fast-growing and very smelly oral cancer. My kids have traveled across the country to say goodbye.

With Pepper and Rainbow, our first two family dogs, I regretted not giving them last meals, so I will get Sunny a McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries. I’ve gone through all of the photos I’ve taken of her and created an album to share on Facebook. Our vet will come to my home in the afternoon to put her to sleep, surrounded by her family. Dr. Samson feels that if the surviving dog is present, they will know Sunny is gone and won’t be looking for her. I hope that is true for Stormy at least.

So I’ve spent my last days sitting with Sunny, petting her, and taking her on walks. Just following our normal routine because dogs love routine. But I’ve also been making bone broth in order to soften her food and I’ve been allowing her on my good sofa. I’m doing all this because I love her and I don’t want to have any regrets.

And yes, I’ve already ordered a puppy, because Stormy needs a buddy, my high schooler needs to see that life is always renewing itself, and because I’m still young enough and have a sturdy enough heart, to squeeze another dog into my life.